My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
