U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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