I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
