Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
