I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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