we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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