Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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