her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
