the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
