i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
