Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
