New invention idea: vibrating tampons
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
soo... how was my night?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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