He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
