either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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