You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
