Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize