i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he was CRYING into my vagina
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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