I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
