i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
