what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
