I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
