don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
