i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
