JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
