Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
