and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
