is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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