Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
