5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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