remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
