too bad you live with your parents still
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My cat gives me a boner
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
