At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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