What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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