Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
