Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
