no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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