are you still at the devil's house?
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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