i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
