Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize