If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize