I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
