I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
