you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
