I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
