i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I forgot how hot balto sounded
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
