Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
