so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
