Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
