Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
