his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Green mimosas i think yes
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
