No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Drunk is not a location!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
