I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
