on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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