After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
