He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
