My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
