I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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