We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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