i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
