you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
BRING THE BAGELS
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize