I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
