Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
