Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize