Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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