I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
