At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
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